From the Desk of Dr. Judith Greer Essex xe2x80x94 on true love, friendship, and Valentine’s Day
True Love: An Expressive Arts Valentine Letter on Friendship
Dear Friends,
As Valentine’s Day comes and goes, I find myself reflecting on the many shapes love can take. So often, this day is painted in hues of romantic red and adorned with hearts entwined, yet love’s palette is far more expansive. Many of us will walk through seasons of life as singles; others will see relationships come and go. But through it all, the steadfast presence of friendship often endures—constant, loyal, and unyielding. Why not honor that enduring love?
Long before the holiday became synonymous with roses and candlelit dinners, your “Valentine” was simply someone you shared the day with. Yes, lovers exchanged sweet words, but so did friends. I believe it’s time to revive that original spirit. And indeed, we’re already seeing the seeds of this revival in celebrations like Galentine’s and Palentine’s Day—joyful, inclusive tributes to platonic love.
Friendship, after all, is not just a balm for the heart but a boon for the body. Studies show that strong social connections enhance immune function, improve cardiovascular health, sharpen cognitive abilities, and even extend our lives. The word “Valentine” traces back to the ancient root valem, meaning “strong and healthy”. How fitting, then, that friendships—the relationships that so often fortify our well-being—should be celebrated on a day dedicated to love.
The history of Valentine’s Day is rich and fascinating. Its origins trace back to ancient Rome and the festival of Lupercalia, held in mid-February. This pagan celebration was eventually replaced by St. Valentine’s Day to honor one or more Christian martyrs named Valentine. By the Middle Ages, the holiday had become associated with romantic love, thanks in part to the writings of Geoffrey Chaucer. The tradition of exchanging cards, known as “valentines,” gained popularity in England during the 18th century and spread to other parts of the world.
In a world that sometimes feels more fragmented than connected, the need for deep, platonic bonds has never been greater. So this Valentine’s Day, let’s embrace all forms of love. Let’s share laughter, express gratitude, and cherish the friends who make our lives richer and more vibrant.
Because love, in its truest form, knows no boundaries.
With affection, Judith
3 Ways to Practice True Love This Valentine’s Day
If Dr. Essex’s letter has moved you, here are three simple expressive arts practices to help you celebrate true love xe2x80x94 in all its forms xe2x80x94 this Valentine’s Day.
1. Write a love letter to a friend. Not a card xe2x80x94 a real letter. Tell them what their true love and friendship has meant to you: a specific memory, a quality you admire, something you have never quite said out loud. True love between friends is so often felt but rarely spoken. Let it be spoken today.
2. Share a memory through art. Find a photograph, a keepsake, or simply paper and colored pens. Create a small image that captures a shared moment with someone you love xe2x80x94 platonic love, familial love, romantic love, whatever is alive for you right now. Let the making itself become the gift of remembering.
3. Make something together. Reach out to a friend and invite them to co-create: a shared playlist, a collaborative poem, a small collage, a walk where you each take one photograph. In expressive arts, true love is always generative xe2x80x94 it makes more meaning, not less. What you create together matters less than the act of creating alongside someone you cherish.
For more on the relationship between friendship, connection, and well-being, explore Psychology Today’s research on friendship. And consider bringing these practices into one of EAI’s upcoming introductory workshops.
Make some valentines this year, for lovers, for friends, for family, and for yourself!
